"And you look it."
I was drinking beer with Hot Karl Zimmler, a well know local drunk, addict, and social deviant...on a strip of sand on the Inter-coastal waterway side of Perdido Key that was behind a big strip of deserted scrub brush. He obviously did not want to be seen.
Two black eyes, swollen red nose but probably not broken, both lips busted to shit, and a jagged cut under his left eye. Hot Karl definitely had gotten his ass handed to him.
Karl was one strange dude. He dressed like a beach vagabond from the 70s (which he was), was completely covered in tattoos, was so tan his age was hard to pinpoint, long eel-like dreadlocks, lived in a garage apartment over on Innerarity Point, and was an absolute wizard with computers and the Web.
This is really a more accurate photo of what Hot Karl looks like in 2020:
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I had no idea where he got it or how he made it but Hot Karl always had mad stacks of cash on him. And you could shove a cattle prod up his ass and I goddamn guarantee you he wouldn't talk.
Way off in the distance boats for the great Trump Bleach Drinkers Boat parade were seemingly just driving around in circles, burning fuel, hitting dolphins with their props, drinking generic beer, and polluting the environment.
Earlier in the day, The Man himself, The Commissar of Perdido Key had personally given his blessing ☠ to the fleet:
Word on the street is THE MAN was pulling his Admiral's uniform out moth balls he was so excited about the Parade.
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Nothing gets a MAGA lady going more than a man in uniform!🎖🎖🎖
I popped open another Pacifico. "Don't keep me in suspense."
"I was one of the guys that did it!"
"Did what"
"Kicked that dipshit clerk in the balls, zip tied his whiny ass to the pump, and put up the sign everybody was talking about yesterday. The one you wrote the article about."
"Very cool move, Hot Karl! Fucking with The Man!"
"It wasn't so goddamn cool when this giant redneck pulled up in a white SUV with some government logo on the side and beat the piss out of me, literally, in the Publix parking lot, asshole!"
Unverified security camera photo
"Sorry," I muttered.
"And I had spent the week printing these posters and I was going to sell them over in Orange Beach to the protesters at that dipshit Trump boat what have you," he waved dismissively out at the flotilla. "First asshole I showed one to said no and then sucker punched me when I was walking away."
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"Protesters? In Orange Beach, Alabama. What in the name of hell were you thinking?"
"Fuck, Goat! I don't what the hell I was thinking."
I fired up some Afghan Black and handed him the pipe.
"Don't fell bad, Hot Karl. Neither do they"
Mahalo
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