OLD WHORES DON'T DO MUCH GIGGLING

"I guess Hunter Thompson was wrong about you."

"Wrong about what, sweetie?"

"Well, you sure do a lot of giggling for an old whore."

Mira was an old school New York madam who had risen through the ranks from street hooker to a sought after Times Square stripper to an outcall gal working for a exclusive clientele to running her own little prostitution cartel which also catered to a VERY exclusive clientele. She kept the last bodyguard - who was fiercely loyal to Mira - she had hired in NY before she retired and moved him along with the furniture and antiques to Perdido Key, and paid for his own condo unit and expenses. 

Butch was a jovial chap but had the looks and physique of an angry Mike Tyson. There wasn't anyone on the Key - local or tourist - would even dare to look or talk to Mira when Butch was around. I once saw him take a mouthy redneck tourist who had consumed too much Busch and military pressed him over his head and threw him off the third floor of their condo! Lucky for the tourist that the pool was on that side of the building.

I had made the Hunter Thompson quote about her giggling like a teenager because we had been sitting in some reclining chairs, drinking champagne coolies on the beach behind her condo, and she was wearing an XL "TRUMP SUCKS! DEAL WITH IT!" t-shirt over her leopard print bikini. (Mira has one hell of a body for a woman her age and she's a terror in the sack...I had dipped my beak a few times after a few cocktails). A neighbor passing by had commented on her choice of attire and she had told him to "Go piss up a rope, dipshit!" 

Mira had quite the history. She had more dirt on people than Jeffrey Epstein...who she knew  before he got arrested...and who had taken an unconventional and somewhat controversial way to the grave. "Jeffrey never killed himself. He couldn't. He was too much of a pussy."

"So what did you think of the big Tulsa Klan rally last night. Your old New York buddy didn't get the crowd he expected. What happened to all that bullshit that they had a million ticket requests?"

"Did I ever tell you I used to watch that horse's ass through the peep on occasion?"

"What the hell for? Why would you to see that?"

"A couple of my girls were his threesome favorites whenever he visited. And they both said they same thing. So I had to see for myself." She leaned over topped off my drink.

"And what would that be?"

Mira started giggling again, "Let's just say that Stormy wasn't lying!"

She reached over and grabbed my hand. "I wish you'd reconsider my offer, babe. Butch and I are heading back to New York. It's safer there. You should come with us before the shit hits the fan. These people don't know what's about to him them."

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